Saturday, June 7, 2008

Time for the Classifieds


"Students cook & serve grandparents." AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!


Here's a frightful headline... "Cemetery residents making a comeback."


"So far, they have determined that the crash occurred when the plane struck the ground."


Waterford boy, 8, saves sister's life by using the Heimlich Maneuver. Look at his quote... "I wouldn't do it again. She's been a pain this week."


"Genetal Tso's Chicken."


Here's the amazing smashing wig sale. "A beautiful blend of Human and European hair." How self-righteous are we?!!


You know, I don't know what is going to kill her first, the french fries or the bag over her head!


"We took a young woman with severe memory loss and helped her forget she ever had it." I don't want to be insensitive, but is that hard to do?


I don't even know what this is... "Frigidaire 60-Pint Portable Dehumanizer!!" AGHHHhhhhhhh!


"We do tailoring, mammograms and shoe repair." Hey, while you're getting your mammogram, put your foot up here -- I want to look at that heel!


If you've seen that man, please call the authorities. I believe his name is Mr. Potato Head.


Here's "Camp Magic, the place for kids." That's their slogan -- "the place for kids." This is for their grand opening party. Look at the last line... Yeah, but "no children please." Keep those little bastards out of here!


Here's an example of the Separation of Church and State right here... "Ten Commandments -- Supreme Court says some OK, some not."


Carport cover. I don't think the guy who made this ad understood the definition of a carport. Look... The car does not go on top of the carport!


11 Days, 8 nights! Oh, okay...


It says, "Better hearing... Better life." Why is there a giant rat [sic] in the ad?! What does hearing have to do with a giant rat [sic]?! It doesn't make any sense!


Okay, this is a German Easter Bunny. I don't know anything about the German culture, but apparently, they like their Easter Bunny with huge boobs! I don't know why you would do that...


A Minneapolis gym class is now offered online! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of!!!


"Police responded to a report that two dogs (were) running along loose and attacking ducks at about 11:20 a.m. Sunday. The officer cited a resident for the loose dogs. The ducks refused medical treatment and left the area."

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